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Bernard the Helper Mule: A Mock Epic for @popqueenie and @lucysfootball
When Buddy, Legolas and Keebler all Attended the same party, long ago, Alas, the three of them perchanced to fall Into great folly, and, well, as you know From looking at their tee-shirts… let’s just call Them most unfortunate. But how they show Resilience is most inspiring! They Don’t let their illness stop them on [...]
In Which Occurs A Very Muppet Scotchpocalypse
“Macallan’s, anyone?” Miss Piggy said, And batted those eyelashes. “Damn, you know, That frog picked him a woman!” Oscar’s head Was already a-spin. It’s ever so, However, that a muppet, offered scotch Must drink it, ev’ry time it’s offered. Soon The bottle drained, this pair was much debauched, And Oscar took advantage of her swoon. [...]
In Which @Daecabhir And @PandasHeart Have Happy News
Who says that Ren faires bring us nothing good? ‘Twas thereat, I believe, that Gregory (Called Daecabhir amoung the wondrous ‘hood We call the internets) did chance to see And flirt with a belle femme there, whom we know As Panda’s Heart. True love at soonest glance, I think, for Greg and Anna, ‘neath the [...]
In Which I Come Out As ATebowist
O Tebow, you’re annoying, but you won, And now my family is more than glad. My first game of the season turned out fun (In my book, sudden death is never bad). Now onward through the playoffs shall ye go, And with you go we all, our fears and hopes Well activated – but I [...]
Suppertime Sonnet Stories: Trans-Dimensional Safety Lessons ForChristmas
A universe next door: The traffic stop Was not performed, and blithely he drove on At terribly high speed that did not drop In time to miss an oncoming Scion. Thank goodness in this one the lights did flash, The siren sound, and though the ticket was Expensive, Simon, chastened, ceased to dash As though [...]
Suppertime Sonnet Stories: In Which @BlazingBetta Needs To Return To CrossFit
The blaze of Betta set the car on fire Just as she walked past it, among all those Parked wildly there. Now now, I am no liar: When she fails to go lifting, e’en her nose Gives off such energy as would explode A lesser being. As a consequence The car combusted (no, this did [...]
SHOUTY MEN IN SHINY ARMOUR: In Which Dissent Is Handled
“Off with his head,” the angry queen did shout. “Which one?” inquired her faithful headsman, “He Has several.” “The one that’s speaking out Against my reign!” “That narrows it to three.” “Off with his head,” the queen said, pointing at Her headsman. “I will give a shiny sword With rubies in its hilt to whom’er that Back-talking [...]
Suppertime Sonnet Stories: In Which An Author Is Screwed From The Get-Go
“Well, Boyd, I think it’s time we had a talk: The public wants the story of your life – These things still make bank! — and if you should balk At all the work, well, I think that my wife Would be a fine ghost-writer.” “Well, I think That sounds just fine,” Boyd told his [...]
In Which A Dragon Saves A Maiden
My elbows both engaged in mutiny, From overuse of these computers, I Must now resort to something new to me: Some software that makes what I say to my Machine, here, into typing. As I’ve said, As many others have repeated, this, Life in the future, rocks. From out my head And through my voice, [...]
ElbOW
This year was through with me ere I was done. Now I just hide and cover me to rest. The race is over. I don’t know who won, But please believe, I wish her all the best. My wounds have tapped me out of ev’ry fight, My goals lie all in tatters at my feet [...]